It is time for our monthly sparking of electronic gear to guide us
together once again with our positive and negative charges! We will
connect and reconnect via keyboards, e-mails, skype, tweets, face
book, and in some cases: snail mail, phones, and yes - even in person!
Our monthly gathering is ready to start, so... grab something to eat,
pour your favorite libation, and get comfortable on your “senior hill”
for our monthly “brown bag” get together.
As you have probably already surmised from the title: “Hodge-Podge
April” we will have topics that will run the gamut, just as our April
Calendar of events portrays, i.e.:
• April Fool's Day - I.R.S. Day
• International Tatting Day - Draw a Picture of a Bird
• Lover's Day - Take a Chance Day
• Tell a Lie Day - National Honesty Day
• Don't Go to Work Unless it's Fun Day - Go for Broke
*Check out the April Calendar.
The Hodge-Podge Articles below have nothing to do with a comic strip
character from “Bloom County.” Nor do they have something to do with
a type of “Mutton Soup.”
The articles below are a “confused”, disorderly “mess” and “jumbled,”
in no certain organization or pattern. Enjoy and have some fun with
the Newsletter #132, “Hodge-Podge April.”
Hugs, & Stay Connected or Reconnect,
“This Is Our Temporary Home”
Contributed by Bob Graham
A young 18 year old student I knew passed away recently. This was the
song they had for him and the family and friends that attended his
service. The song (by Carrie Underwood), and the lyrics are there for
you. Just scroll down (below the lyrics). Almost a month later and
the words still are very emotional for me...please listen.
Contributed by Maggie (Tubia) Horwitz
Ron Chestna 89 years of age was stopped by the police around 2 a.m.
and was asked where he was going at that time of night. Ron replied,
"I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has
on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."
The officer asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of
Ron replied, "That would be my wife."
“Home Depot According to Age”
Contributed by Bonita Beck
You are in the middle of some home projects: putting in a new fence,
painting the porch, planting some flowers and fixing a broken door
lock. You are hot and sweaty, covered with dirt, lawn clippings and
paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit --
shorts with a hole in the crotch, an old T-shirt with a stain from
who-knows-what, and an old pair of tennis shoes. Right in the middle
of these tasks you realize that you need to run to Home Depot for
Depending on your age you might do the following:
In your 20s:
Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair,
brush your teeth, floss and put on clean clothes.
Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite
cologne because, you never know, you just might meet some hot chick
while standing in the checkout line. And yes, you went to school with
the pretty girl running the register.
In your 30s:
Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change your
shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else.
Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror.
Still got it! Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell.
The cute girl running the register is the kid sister of someone you
went to school with.
In your 40s:
Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to
cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts.
Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of
Brut is almost empty, so don't waste any of it on a trip to Home
Depot. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than
flexing. The hot young thing running the register is your daughter's
age and you feel weird about thinking she's spicy.
In your 50s:
Stop what you are doing. Put on a hat. Wipe the dirt off your hands
onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dog crap
in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and swear not to
wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The cutie
running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you
still have it. Then you remember -- the hat you have on is from
Bubba's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, 'I Got Worms '
In your 60s:
Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat any more. Hose the dog
crap off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your
50s. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in
your pants. The girl running the register may be cute but you don't
have your glasses on, so you're not sure.
In your 70s:
Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Home Depot until you call the
drug store to have your prescriptions ready for pick too and check
your grocery list for a quick stop there. Got to save trips! Don't
even notice the dog crap on your shoes. The young thing at the
register stares at you and you realize your balls are hanging out the
hole in your crotch…who cares.
In your 80s:
Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you
remember you need to go to Home Depot. You go to Wal-Mart instead.
You went to school with the old lady greeter. You wander around trying
to remember what you are looking for. Then you fart out loud and turn
around thinking someone called your name.
In your 90s & beyond:
What's a home deep hoe? Something for my garden? Where am I? Who am I?
Why am I reading this? Did I send it? Did you? Who farted?
From The Mouths of Babe’s”
Contributed by Grandchildren...From Yours?
1. HOW ONE DECIDES WHO TO MARRY:
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like
sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep
the chips and dip coming. - Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to
marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later
who you're stuck with. - Kristen, age 10
2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by
then. - Camille, age 10
3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at
the same kids. - Derrick, age 8
4. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids. - Lori, age 8
5. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know
each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)
On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually
gets them interested enough to go for a second date. - Martin, age 10
6. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich. - Pam, age 7
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with
that. - Curt, age 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry
them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
- Howard, age 8
7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone
to clean up after them. - Anita, age 9 (bless you child )
8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? -
Kelvin, age 8
And the #1 Favorite is...
9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump
- Ricky, age 10
and Anniversary to All April Classmates
Dates to Remember:
1 - April Fool's Day - International Fun at Work Day - International
2 - Children's Book Day - National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day -
3 - Don't Go to Work Unless it's Fun Day - Tweed Day - National Walk
to Work Day.
4 - Hug a Newsman Day - Walk Around Things Day - School Librarian Day
- Tell a Lie Day.
5 - Easter - Go for Broke Day.
6 - Dyngus Day - Sorry Charlie Day.
7 - Caramel Popcorn Day - No Housework Day - World Health Day.
8 - All is Ours Day - Draw a Picture of a Bird Day.
9 - Name Yourself Day - Winston Churchill Day.
10 - Golfer's Day - National Siblings Day.
11 - Eight Track Tape Day - Barbershop Quartet Day - National
12 - Big Wind Day - Russian Cosmonaut Day.
13 - Scrabble Day.
14 - Ex Spouse Day - International Moment of Laughter Day -
Look up at the Sky Day - National Pecan Day - Reach as High as You Can
15 - I.R.S. Day - Rubber Eraser Day - Titanic Remembrance Day.
16 - National Eggs Benedict Day - National Librarian Day - National
Stress Awareness Day - National High Five Day.
17 - Bat Appreciation Day - Blah, Blah, Blah Day - National Cheeseball
Day - Pet Owners Independence Day.
18 - International Juggler's Day - Newspaper Columnists Day.
19 - National Garlic Day.
20 - Look Alike Day - Patriot's Day - Volunteer Recognition Day.
21 - Kindergarten Day.
22 - Administrative Professionals Day (Executive Admin's Day,
Secretary's Day) - Girl Scout Leader Day - National Jelly Bean Day.
23 - Lover's Day - National Zucchini Bread Day - Take a Chance Day -
World Laboratory Day - Take Your Daughter to Work.
24 - Pig in a Blanket Day.
25 - East meets West Day - World Penguin Day.
26 - Hug an Australian Day - National Pretzel Day - Richter Scale Day.
27 - Babe Ruth Day - National Prime Rib Day - Tell a Story Day.
28 - International Astronomy Day - Great Poetry Reading Day -
Kiss Your Mate Day.
29 - Greenery Day - National Shrimp Scampi Day.
30 - Hairstyle Appreciation Day - National Honesty Day.
Keep Your Fork...’64, Bob Graham
PS: Thank You Classmates, Family, and Friends of the Aragon Class
of 1964 for your continued assistance and with the articles you send
in for the Monthly Newsletter - Keep Your Fork...’64. Take Care and
have an Outstanding April.
*Don’t forget to file your Income Tax on April 15, 2015!
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