Aragon Class of ‘64
“Keep Your Fork” Newsletter
 

 

Classmates & Friends of Aragon 1964, Contributors of all Articles
Bonita Beck, Publisher                                         Bob Graham, Editor


August 2015 “Over the Hump”     Issue #136

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Classmates,

Well, summer is over the hump and before we know it, we will be into the cooler months and a whole different outlook to the weather and how are daily routines will be altered.

Before we end those well-deserved vacations, and in many situations, the last seeing, talking, and being with (in person) our Kids, Grandkids, and in some cases - great grandkids. We need to finish off strong, so “Fire Up!”  We will continue on with great memories, Skype, and a few, well planned phone calls. This will make the transition easier for all, until our next gathering.

As I get older I feel that the separation time seems longer and the grandkids seem to grow up so fast.  Anyone else feel like that?  Probably time to start thinking about Thanksgiving, Christmas, & Hanukkah.  It’s time to get back together again.  I must say to those of you out there that live in the same state, city, or down the street from your families – well done, and know that you are blessed!

Okay, I would like to say that my request for you to send me some of the items on your “Bucket List” - over taxed my computer!  The items you sent me must have gotten rerouted, or lost in a serge in the electro magnet field, from your computer to mine!  Not a ONE entered into my tool bar app - “you got mail!” Anyone have any ideas to what could have happened?  Oh, wait a minute, could it be...no one sent anything to me?  I find that extremely hard to believe, with such a “GREAT” class!@#$?  Okay - you send one to me and I will match it with one from my “Bucket List.”  Both will be in the next month’s Newsletter.  It will be kind of like “you show me yours and I’ll show you mine.”

One more thought before we get to the August Newsletter “Over the Hump;” have any of you visited with other Classmates?  I would like to expand the Newsletter with just a brief “reach out” to those who have stayed connected or reconnected with other Classmates. Let’s try to get some participation in one of these two arenas: “Bucket List” or “Classmates meeting up with other Classmates.”  I look forward to hearing from you.

The August Newsletter will start with an article that missed last month’s cut off time. Then we will continue with the other articles contributed for the month... enjoy the rest of your Summer.  

                                                                    Hooah, Hugs, and Over the Hump,

                                                                    Bob

 

“The Tomb of The Unknown”
Contributed by Bruce Ahlvin
[What it takes!]

“At A Loss For Words”
Contributed by Peggy Graham
[The 9 of hearts...really?]

“A Couple May Fool You!”

Contributed by Charlene (Wiper) Swenson
[Keep those brain cells active!]

1. Johnny 's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child 's name?

2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall and he wears size 13 sneakers.
What does he weigh?

3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?

4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?

5. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly?

6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?

7. In California you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg.  Why not?

8. What was the President's name, in 1975?

9. If you were running a race and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?

10. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"?

11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?

Here are the Answers:

1. Johnny 's mother had three children. The first child was named April The second child was named May. What was the third child 's name?   Answer: Johnny of course

2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers.
What does he weigh?   Answer: Meat.

3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?
Answer: Mt. Everest; it just wasn't discovered yet. [ You 're not very good at this are you?]

4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?
Answer: There is no dirt in a hole.

5. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly?
Answer: Incorrectly

6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?
Answer: Billy lives in the Southern Hemisphere

7. In California you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?
Answer: You can 't take pictures with a wooden leg. You need a camera to take pictures.

8. What was the President's Name in 1975?
Answer: Same as is it now - Barack Obama [Oh, come on ...]

9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?
Answer: You would be in 2nd. Well, you passed the person in second place, not first.

10. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"?
Answer: Neither, the yolk of the egg is yellow [Duh]

11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?
Answer: One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big one.



“Here Today, Gone Tomorrow”
Contributed by Bob Graham
[Great memories!]



“Impossibilities In The World”
Contributed by Ted Dumke
[Something to think about …]

1. You can't count your hair.

2. You can't wash your eyes with soap.

3. You can't breathe through your nose when your tongue is out.
Put your tongue back in your mouth, you silly person.

Ten (10) Things I know about you.

1. You are reading this.

2. You are human.

3. You can't say the letter ''P'' without separating your lips.

4. You just attempted to do it.

6. You are laughing at yourself.

7. You have a smile on your face and you skipped No. 5.

8. You just checked to see if there is a No. 5.

9. You laugh at this because you are a fun loving person & everyone does it too.

10. You are probably going to send this to see who else falls for it.

 

“There’s A Toyota &
Then There’s A Toyota Prius!”

Contributed by Charlene & Alan Swenson
[Alan, Alan, Alan - Steve, Steve, Steve]

“Ejercito del Aire”
Contributed by - Spanish Air Force
[Great water drinkers!]



“Walk With Me While I Age”
Contributed by Bruce Ahlvin
[A beautiful poem about growing older!]

I hope this poem has the same effect on you as it did on me - then my forwarding it will be worth the effort:

Walk with me by the water…shit, I forgot the words!

 



 “Retired Person's Perspective”
Contributed by Gary Rocklage
[#2 will get your attention!]
     
1. I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out. 
 
2. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now. 
 
3. You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she's probably pissed.  
 
4. Gone are the days when girls cooked like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.  
 
5. You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone you've just met?  That's common sense leaving your body.  
 
6. I don't like making plans for the day. Because then the word "premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.  
 
7. I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes 1,500 days in a row.  
 
8. I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.  
 
9. Dear paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for murderers. If you find one, what's your plan?  
 
10. Everyone has a right to be stupid. Politicians just abuse the privilege.      

“Don’t Give Auburn  A SECOND Chance”
Contributed by Bob Graham
[One second can make you a winner!]

“The Best of Times”
Contributed by Peggy Graham
[Do you remember these times?]

“More Thoughts On Getting Older”
Contributed by Bruce Ahlvin & Gary Rocklage
[Some thoughts you may have not remembered!@#$?]

• The biggest lie I tell myself is, "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
         
• Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes and come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller!
         
• Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet!
         
• I don't trip over things, I do random gravity checks!
         
• I don't need anger management. I need people to stop making me mad!
         
• Old age is coming at a really bad time!
         
• Lord grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can & the friends to post my bail when I finally snap!
         
• I don't have gray hair. I have "wisdom highlights." I'm just very wise.
         
My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance to idiots that needs work.
         
• If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees.
         
• The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes".
         
• I'm going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I'll do that second week.
         
• Even duct tape can't fix stupid, but it can muffle the sound!
         
• Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
         
• Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.
         
• Oops! Did I roll my eyes out loud?
         
• At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came there for.
         
• Chocolate comes from cocoa which is a tree, that makes it a plant which means - chocolate is salad!!!
         
• And, of course - Have I sent this to you already or - did you send this to me?

“Big Dogs & Little People”
Contributed by Gavin, Jake, & Honor Graham
[WOW, those are some BIG dogs!!!]

The Land that Made Me Me…
Contributed by Bonita Beck
[Do you remember these times?]

 

Don't Forget:

Happy Birthday and Anniversary
to all August Classmates!

August Dates to Remember

1    ̶    National Mustard Day - National Raspberry Cream Pie Day.
2    ̶     Friendship Day - International Forgiveness Day - National Ice Cream Sandwich Day - Sisters Day.
3    ̶    National Watermelon Day.
4    ̶    U.S. Coast Guard Day.


5    ̶    Work Like a Dog Day.
6    ̶    Wiggle Your Toes Day.
7    ̶    National Lighthouse Day.
8    ̶    Sneak Some Zucchini onto Your Neighbor's Porch Day.
9    ̶    Book Lover's Day.


10    ̶    Lazy Day – National S’mores Day.
11    ̶    Presidential Joke Day - Son and Daughter Day.
12    ̶    Middle Child's Day.
13    ̶    Left Hander's Day.
14    ̶    14/15 VJ Day - National Creamsicle Day.


15    ̶    Relaxation Day.
16    ̶    National Tell a Joke Day.
17    ̶    National Thrift Shop Day.
18    ̶    Bad Poetry Day.
19    ̶    Aviation Day.


20    ̶    Chinese Valentine's Day - Daughter's Day - National Radio Day -
Happy 48th Anniversary Peggy & Bob Graham
21    ̶    Senior Citizen's Day.
22    ̶    Be an Angel Day - National Tooth Fairy Day.
23    ̶    Ride the Wind Day.
24    ̶    Vesuvius Day.


25    ̶    Kiss and Make Up Day.
26    ̶    National Dog Day - Women's Equality Day.
27    ̶    Global Forgiveness Day - Just Because Day.
28    ̶    Just Because Day.
29    ̶    More Herbs, Less Salt Day.


30    ̶    Frankenstein Day – Toasted Marshmallow Day.
31    ̶    National Trail Mix Day.

Have a great month,

Bob


PS:  Thank you all for continuing to support the monthly newsletter. Enjoy your time with your family and friends, they all become even more important as we get older. Live life to the fullest!

“Always do right  ̶   this will gratify some and astonish the rest.”   ~  Mark Twain
 

 

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